a new year

2015 has gone.

Or, actually, it isn’t gone, it is still in me.

I am who I am today, 3 January 2016, because of what I achieved, felt, struggled with and overcame in 2015.

And a lot has happened in one year.

A year ago, I decided it was time to heal my chronic skin condition, and take things from the root.

Before last year, I heavily relied on steroid creams, struggled with all kinds of health issues ranging from chronic fatigue, depression and insomnia to severe eczema, headaches, heavy nosebleeds and poor immunity in general. I couldn’t live with it anymore and by the end of 2014, I decided that 2015 had to become the year in which I would take my health in my own hands.

And I did just that.

But deep healing doesn’t happen overnight.

As I went along the way, I started recognizing the cause of some of my persistent habits and how they were holding me back from developing further. One example is my chocolate addiction. Yes, I have been addicted to chocolate for as long as I can remember. I could (and to be honest, I still can) eat an entire 200-gram packet of chocolate every day.

Probably this is not as destructive a habit as smoking or drinking, but I learned that your kind of addiction tells you a lot about who you are. I learned for example that I have always been looking for comfort in food and stimulants. When I was a teenager, sugar gave me a temporary rush, making me feel more self secure and energized. As I grew older and developed my own world view, alcohol helped me to feel less anxious and more able to express my feelings to other people. When I drank alcohol, I felt more confident and relaxed (however, when I drank too much, which was too often the case during my time at University, my self-esteem turned 180° and I even became suicidal).

Finally, when I was 21, I discovered recreational drugs. The first was MDMA and this drug opened my eyes. I can never put into words how good it felt, to feel complete love for all what was other and myself, without any anxiety, insecurity or self-doubt. I just loved. I am grateful that I have had the privilege to experience these feelings of abundance. I could never have learned so much about myself and my sometimes disturbed world perception without these drugs. At the same time, I’m glad I never became addicted to them, because like chocolate and sugar, it gives you comfort, confidence and energy — be it in a slightly different way, of course.

Anyway, back to 2015. I addressed any destructive habits I had hold on to before. I quit coffee and alcohol, I reduced gluten, sugar, dairy and processed foods to almost zero, and I started to eliminate toxins from my life as much as possible. I signed up for Elwin Robinson’s Complete Detox Academy and started detoxing my mind, lungs, bladder, skin and large intestine. My head became more clear, I learned to breathe from the belly not the chest, I incorporated more raw, alkaline and green foods into my diet, I started juicing, had my first sauna, salt bath and clay pack and last summer, I had my first session with a colon hydrotherapist. I think I can say 2015 was my big intro to detox :)

So what are my goals for 2016?

First and foremost, I want to keep working on my health. My skin is much stronger than it used to be, however, the eczema is still present. My goal now is to heal my skin completely and I will do whatever it takes. Because being healthy is one of the most wonderful things in the world. If you’ve never had a chronic illness, you can’t imagine how much it depresses your life. Your entire world and self perception becomes distorted by your poor health. So that’s number one: healing.

Second, I want to get a job. It’s been hard for me to find a job because I only have experience as a waitress, but I realized I shouldn’t do that work anymore because of my skin condition. So I’ve been looking for something else since last summer, and I hope something will pop up soon so I will be able to pay for rent, food and healing.

Third, I hope I will be able to save some money, educate myself and become a health coach so I can share my knowledge and experience with others. I want to help other people who are struggling with their health and want to get better by healing their body from the inside out instead of treating symptoms. I want to turn plantseeds into a business so I can reach more people — I will keep blogging, start a newsletter, launch my first eBook and organize my first workshop.

Big dreams! I hope I will have the money, confidence and courage to realize them all.

This is what my Passion Roadmap for 2016 looks like:

passion-planner-roadmap-2016
Now let me hear from you! What are your goals for 2016? I would love to hear from you, get some interaction and feedback. I want to get to know you better, who you are and what you stand for, what your challenges are, and maybe if I can help you with anything?

I wish you all a great new year, filled with exceptional health, love and authenticity — and that you may feel the freedom and acceptance to be who you are and say what you feel.