seeing the forest for the trees

Hey y’all… Last two weeks have been pretty tough on me. I caught a cold, eczema flared up pretty badly, I didn’t sleep well and in general, I was too much in my head, focusing on pain and negativity. I was disappointed in myself, as I liked to believe that after all these months of detoxing my skin should only be getting better — or at least, that it shouldn’t get too bad again. But I was mistaken. It’s change of season — my immune system is having a hard time, and my skin will always be my inner to outer world expression platform.

As I usually do when I feel bad, I turned inwards and asked myself what I could possibly have done wrong to make the eczema flare up that bad again. The old familiar “I’m such a failure” crossed my mind, but then I realized I was about to step into my own pitfall — and hell NO, that is a dark place I’d rather not be in again.

So, with the help of my boyfriend, my great let-me-get-you-out-of-your-head friend, I wiped some negativity dust off my shoulders and started to take better care of myself. Because honestly, I can focus on food as much as I want, being healthy doesn’t come from having a healthy diet alone. It is also being kind to yourself, allowing yourself to be, to breathe, move around, go outside, be in nature, connect with Earth, yourself, and other beings around you.

Since I’ve started with this blog, I’ve been focusing too much on eating healthy and reflecting on my inner self, and have lightly forgotten to take care of the rest of what is also me.

So last weekend, I had a salt bath (which I strongly recommend, by the way) and took a moment to just feel me again.

As the minerals tingled my skin and the water relaxed my muscles, I felt a relief from the self-induced stress I had been carrying around for the past week. Not for the first time in my life, I became aware I myself am the causer of the stress that I am feeling — the only thing I have to do is take a moment, breathe, step out of my mind cycle and move away from my destructive train of thoughts.

It's so important for me to keep in mind that I have accomplished a lot already in a relatively a short time. It's just difficult to see the forest for the trees when despite all the 'extreme' (by which I mean non-conventional, which makes it sometimes even more hard to stick with) things I am doing in my attempt to get healthy, my eczema still flares up without any clear cause.

It is at these moments of growing desperation that I need to remind myself to look back to where I've come from, how bad it used to be and how much less painful my skin is now.

I have this inherent tendency to focus more on the negative than on the positive things that happen in life, which is exhausting and causing me unnecessary feelings of stress. I am the one who has to step out of that.

Beating myself up over every little mistake or over every downer in my life isn’t going to help me to feel better, nor is it going to help anyone else.

And feeling good is just what we all want, right?

Because when you feel good about yourself, you are better able to connect with what is around you, which is also you!

I figured out that, if I want to feel better about myself, I don’t only need to focus on myself alone — I need to connect with other entities too, which are the things that also make me who I am: the people I meet, the air I breathe, the Earth I walk on and everything else which is, essentially, all One.

So. I assigned myself to do this little game every time a negative thought starts to cloud my head again:

  1. Negative thought wells up 
  2. Become conscious of the thought
  3. Feel and briefly allow the thought
  4. Consciously decide to let it pass: I am more than this thought alone
  5. (Post-reflection) What is the positive side of the negative? For example, ‘I have learned something’, or ‘I feel bad when I feel this thought, so I rather don’t want to feel it. It’s cool that I can now decide to let this thought pass and not let it affect me any further’

It’s proven effective until now.

When I’m 'in the game', I’m able to let go of negativity = self-induced stress more easily.

I'm glad I'm able to think about it this way. Every effort I make will in some way be rewarded, going from saving my body some unnecessary stress hormone production to inspiring others to feel better about themselves.

So what about you? Do you also have the tendency to see the glass half empty rather than half full? Are you easily overwhelmed by negativity?  I’d be happy to hear from you, so feel free to post in the comment section below!

Sending you my love for today x


Want to read my whole Story of Struggle? Go here.
Image source: film still from Apricot, a short film by Ben Briand. Watch it today. It's beautiful.